Letter To My Daughter

Homecoming has come and gone. Our family is once again complete! This post is a letter I began to write to my oldest daughter prior to homecoming. My husband and I decided to keep homecoming a surprise from her and her little sister – and although it was difficult, it was well worth it. I wanted to share here the letter I intend on giving my daughter one day – she is my everything and I hope with all she has gone through in her little life’s years, she never not knows that.

Dearest Daughter,

Today your daddy is coming home from deployment and you have no idea. It has been so difficult to keep this very happy secret from you but I felt it would be such a great surprise.  I imagine you walking towards the buses completely unaware your little heart’s wish for daddy to be home come true unexpectedly and you and your little sister scream ‘daddy’ and run into his arms filled with tears of joy and happiness (and I running behind crying as well).

You both have tearfully missed your father and had your share of bad days for such a young age. Each of your emotions have been tested and forced to mature rapidly from infancy to that of a young adult. You alone have endured more sorrow and heart aches than most adults can handle and yet your little heart understands it as a part of our lives even though your tender logic does not permit you to fully value what and why your daddy ‘goes away’.

I hope that when you read this letter you find yourself proud and prideful for the commitment your daddy did for the military, our country, people in America, and most of all – our family. You have experienced and accepted so much sacrifice and change than I have in my life so far – and yet you never cease to amaze me in how your faith, love, and strength has never been shaken.  Although you are so young, you not once have felt ashamed or abandoned from the side effects that come along with being a military family. In this present day you understand your father to be a hero and my hope is that you never stop thinking that way because a hero he will forever be – don’t let anyone ever tell you anything different.

Since you are still in your youthful-bliss years, I don’t go into details about why and exactly what your daddy does for our country only because you are still incapable of fully understanding the intricacy of our nation’s politics. Today, your infantile mind permits you to comprehend that our military is formulate and utilized to protect America. Just this past year we openly discussed the events of September 11, 2001 after you saw a video clip on the news of the airplane crashing into a building you will never see or visit (as I did). In tears I explained to you in a level you could grasp as to what this meant for our country and the people who live here. I was initially concerned that I might be planting a seed of fear in you, but instead your response was you telling me how glad you are that your daddy is part of a military that fights to make sure that never happens again.

Even with this most recent deployment, for humanitarian relief, you found yourself struggling with your emotions of pride and sadness because you missed your daddy. You were simply teased with a 2 week visit before your daddy received orders to redeploy and although you cried and pouted, your selfless heart couldn’t wait for help to reach the children of Haiti who had less than nothing. You felt compassion without ever knowing the word and already recognized how fortunate you are to have life’s perks and pleasures at arm’s reach.

I am so proud to be the mother of such a jovial, sensitive, intelligent, and empathetic little girl. Many times I wonder if our life’s circumstances have resulted in you growing up too fast and possibly missing out on being ‘just a kid’. With your humbleness and kindhearted ways you constantly put yourself in second place to the world. You silently watched my breakdowns and frustrations on those very trying days and did all you could to help and ease my pains. I hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the times I yelled and lost patience like a scorpion whipping around my tail because I too missed your daddy and lost my hold on control. Every now and then I allowed my aggravation to seam out of my pores from the pressures of handling the homefront on a deployment – please forgive me for those unnecessary moments. I am not and never will be a perfect mother and just as I learned and grew from my mother I wish and pray that you too will take in the good and bad and always aim to be better than I for your children if you ever desire to be a mother.

I don’t know what the Lord has planned for our family and/or how many more deployments we will have experienced by the time I give you this letter but if there is one thing I hope you never stop knowing it is how much you and your sister mean to me and your daddy. Our life’s trials, tribulations, sacrifices, and unknowingness is consistently tolerable with one single thought of you and your sister. Our life is made easy because of you girls. God gave us the most special and fragile gifts we could ever receive and we truly and honestly cherish and treasure each and every moment with you two.

I look forward to watching you become a tween, teenager, young adult, and adult. I don’t expect it to be an easy task – to sit back and observe you make your life’s decisions as well as watching you fail to learn from your own mistakes. I can only trust that we have provided you with valuable life experiences, exposed you to the world in a way that permits you to assess and distinguish good from bad, and (most of all) supplied you with faith and trust in our God that He will always provide you your needs – just as He has done for our family so far.

You are a beautiful little girl inside and out. Your childlike honest ways give you an advantage to most adults, including myself, as to what an imperfect human being should be. I can’t wait to learn more about you and from you. I expect you to continue to amaze me in all the years to come. And please never ever forget that: No matter the day, no matter the time, no matter the weather, no matter whatever…I will love you forever and ever.

Love you to the moon and stars (plus infinity!),

Mommy

 

HOMECOMING